{crazyjen}

Kelly's Bachelorette Party

Here are a couple pics from the Bachelorette party on Saturday night. We started at Michelle's house, played a couple games, then went to Wanted at the Lakeville Cinema, dinner at Chianti Grill in Burnsville and then barhopped our way back to the bonfire at Grandma's.

Here's the bride to be, Kelly. She's wearing some playboy bunny ears and a bow-tie and her official name for the evening as "Princess." She even had a crown to wear. Michelle, Kim and I assigned stripper/hooker names for each guest. We had Bunny, Muffy, Candy, Lolita, Franchesca, Natasha, Buffy, Heather...that's all I can think of.

What'a a bach. party without some sexy lingerie, from Auntie Sheila. Kelly looks a little embarassed...you think? That's pretty cute though.

Here's our group: Jack (not really), Michelle, Traci, Sheila, Ashley, Heidi, Stacy, Kelly, Kimmie, me and Mom and Gracie.

Here's our "naughty" one. That's a lot of butts for one picture. :) Looks more like a police line-up than a bach. party. Ah well, you win some you lose some.

Here's Traci at dinner.

Here's Kimmie half in the bag after one Cosmo. Yeah, I was 3/4 in the bag after my drink then I got a glass of Riesling. Woah was I drunk. Felt good actually. I had a lot of liquor that night but you know what. I didn't puke and didn't have a hangover either. I was just tired, so overall, pretty good night.

Waseca Open Horse Show

Here are some pictures of Traci and Tara riding in the show on Sunday. Traci received two red ribbons (aka 2nd place) which was good because her class sizes were 15 horse&riders. One in showmanship and the other in English Equitation.

English. Nice posture Traci. Heels could probably be down a little more. I'm loving that your feet are positioned against the belly and not pointing toward the inner ring.

You look nervous sweetheart. Loosen up. Your horse looks at ease. :)

Profile shot. Grandma would say, "Smile!"

Riding Western. She looked so much more at ease here than in English. I think Western is more like her personality than the uppity English. Cool, calm, collected and casual, that's Western.

There's that nice smile I was looking for.

That's a girl, giving Heidi-Heidi-Ho the pat-down.

This is 'Sandra (Cassandra) and John (Johnny Cash) Bethke [brother and sister] waiting patiently. Poor 'Sandra was DQ'd from the class because she had no saddle and no hat. She probably could have won riding bareback. She's good. Oh well, maybe next time.

Here's Tara doing pole-weaving with Rocky (he's 19 which is getting up there for a horse).

On the way back. In pole-weaving they cross the start line, weave through 5 poles I believe, whip around the last one and go back through again.

This one looks exciting. I'm loving the angle here, gives it some craziness I think. See how tight the turning is on those poles.

Here's my favorite. Traci running after getting past the last pole. Rocky's hair is waving wildly and Tara's facial expression is priceless.

Card night and drinking.

Thursday night was full of cards, laughter, booze, drunkeness, swearing, walking and basically a good time.

Jamie trying to be sneaky while playing cards. Not easy when you're inebriated. Nice tray Jammers.

Kimmie pondering, thinking, whatever. Not easy to do when you are inebriated. Nice try Kimmie.

Thomas looking like a drunk but in actuality he was completely sober. Pictures can deceive I guess. The stuff on the left is mine, Bacardi O (the most popular of the evening), Jamie's Raz, Kimmie's Bacardi Silver Watermelon.

Jamie trying to help Tara learn how to play for the first time. Not a good idea when you are inebriated and you can't concentrate because there was too much talking going on.

Little Lyndsay. "Hey, what are you doing? Texting?" Oh no, updating my phone, okay you're good.

Jamie and Thomas. Poor guy, he stayed up late with half a group of drunken women. What he goes through because he loves Little Kimmie. We love you Thomas.

Jamie decided, in her infinite wisdom, that some fruit punch-flavored tootsies would go nicely with Watermelon cheerleader beer. Ah...no, it just turned the color from clear to pinkish. Nice try.

So after the card night we decided to go out to the bars; me, Kimmie and Jamie. We had a fun time. We were dropped off at Reno's, had a red-headed sl*t, some house punch and then danced and walked to the Bowling alley (like a block away), we had a raspberry-something drink, danced and played the nudy game (hard to explain). We then decided to walk to Glassmaker's house and bother them. En route Kimmie decided she would try and put her sweatshirt on and get a tootsie and she ended up falling on her behind. It was funny. We were picked up in an S10 and had to ride in the back, lovely. We ended up stopping at Reno's again and got Lyndsay to pick us up instead. Thank heavens.

Um...I was fairly well drunk but apparently I conduct myself well as a drunk because nobody could tell. LOL hee hee That's pretty good. I laughed so hard at that. Nobody could tell. I don't slur my words or do stupid things just talk louder and a lot. I guess I'm no fun. Oh well, there could be worse things.

Pinochle, drinking and a new limerick

Whoooahhhh! (think Al Pacino from Scent of a Woman)

I'm playing pinochle and doing a little bit of drinking tonight. Oh yeah. I've been looking forward to it all week. I'm super excited! As in Christmas morning-opening presents excited. As in I just got a bonus at work excited. As in I could feel some cold on my lip & chin the other day excited.

I'm trying to post a picture with every post so here's an old one of one my very bad pinochle hands that was probably dealt to me by Thomas.

Let's hope I don't get any hands like this one. Or I'll be swearing more than little Kimmie does around Jamie.

There are a few things that I know will come true tonight. As in it happens every time I get to play cards:

a. Thomas will deal badly.

b. Kimmie will swear like a drunken sailor. Every 4th word will be F*ck.

c. Jamie and Thomas will be partners, b/c that's how it always ends up eventhough we do a random draw for partners.

d. I will call somebody a hag...more than once.

e. I will tell Kimmie to, "pay attention."

f. Kimmie will yell at me for chastising her.

g. I will have a big smile on my face.

h. Aunt Kathy will see this blog post and be jealous.

i. I will be drinking, not to get drunk, just feel good. :)

j. Somebody will get set. (they always do)

Okay that's enough of that. We'll end on J 'cause that's the first letter of my name. What better reason?

Here's a Friday Limerick called Needy

There was a crazy girl called Jen,

who needed companions again.

she needed a friend,

with an ear to lend,

and time to hang out now and then.

daily something pics

some of my latest daily something pics.

5.11.08 "Sunday Softball" - my cousin Tara hitting the ball at the Diamonds during her game. Sorry about the bad timing. Wish I could have gotten a shot of her making contact.

5.12.08 "Bedroom Eyes #2" -Just one of me laying in my bed. Maybe I should title it "look into my eyes!" I read in a book once that when a woman gives a guy the "googly eyes" you know, trys to turn on the charm using a look like this one, it's called "turning on those blue headlights" or something like that. Feels appropriate here, doesn't it?

I like to take pictures of me when I'm actually wearing my contacts which isn't often. Taking pics of people who wear glasses, my self included, isn't easy. I'm hoping you're distracted by the eyes to not notice the no make-up un-even skin-tone issue. I seriously considered going b&w for this one.

Well, okay, here it is.

Not too bad either. Anyways, I took this picture because I didn't take a picture of me in my black dress skirt, black tights and black high heel pointy-toed shoes. I forgot to take that picture. See I don't wear skirts very often. They are a nuisance. I have to remember to keep my legs closed or crossed, movement isn't as easy and the inevitable wearing of tickets that make my legs itch. Anyways, I think I've spent entirely too much time on narcissim for the evening. Can I just say one last thing...my legs looked pretty hot in that skirt though. :)

5.13.08 - "Succulent Florida Oranges" - don't they look juicy, scrumptuous, mouth-watering, sweet? Oh yeah. They were. Fresh oranges I had sent up from Venice, Florida (on the gulf coast south of Tampa). Oh so sweet...just like me. :) LOL

5.14.08 "Thomas on Concentration" aka Thomas playing expert on Guitar Hero on Wii. He's pretty serious about his playing. He's wicked fast too or as I say "crazy."

Ellendale Winter Carnival

Michelle and I took Jack to the Ellendale Winter Carnival in Ellendale, of course. :) He was a complete nut-bag. Oh yeah, He ran around like a chicken with his head cut off. We chased him all over. Eventually Michelle put him up on her shoulders because it was easier to keep a hold on him. I think he thoroughly enjoyed himself. All parties were worn out afterwards.

First things first though. We must feed the beast or he gets as crabby as a coffee addict at 5 a.m. who realizes the only coffee at the gas station is decaf. Notice the ruby red lips, he gets that from Michelle. If he were a girl we'd dress him in a Dorothy costume...you know, wizard of oz. Okay.

Here's Jack posing for the camera. He sees the camera in his face and he automatically says, with no encouragement, "Cheese!" He's trying to appear cute and innocent but really the beady eyes show a glint of his devlish side. The devil on his shoulder that says, "You must run around like a 2-year old on crack, you must wear out your mother and your favorite aunt. Okay, Go!"

Here's our devil-child picking a duck, but wait, look closely he isn't picking one duck, he's picking two. That's right Jack fills both hands. He's never without food or ducks in both hands. And look, their both pink. I wonder why he picked the two pink duckies? My theory is that he sees so much pepto bismol pink from Gracie's room that he naturally gravitates towards pink. Poor kid. He'll get picked on a one point for that.

Next we dash over to the Fishing Tank. Where intially Jack decides to run off with the pole instead of stopping to fish. I think we confused him a bit there because we always tell him to take the money and run apparently he assumed that take the pole and run was the same concept. Ooops.

Here we are at the trusty golf spot. I mean it wouldn't be a carnival without golf, right? I'm sure some of the male adult population was just itching to go over there and take a stab at it. :) Yeah, you know who you are.

Here's Jack getting tackled because instead of throwing the bean bag into the hole he decided to escape. Well too bad for him that Mom was there to tackle him to the ground. I probably could have snagged him too but then I'd have to put down my camera and heaven knows I can't do that. (did you pick up on the sarcasm there, good.)

Here's Jack's favorite item at the carnival. The big blow up obstacle course. Yeah, we did it 4 times. Meaning Michelle and I had to squeeze into this thing made for midget children. Our butts almost got stuck. That would have been funny on some level though. :)

Here's me tossing Jack over one of the obstacles because he was a bit too short to get over.

After that episode Jack needed a time out because he was getting a bit crazy. Again, I'm referring to the coffee-addict-like behavior. Here's Mom and the squeaky with a pink sucker. Again with the pink. That's the sucker he picked himself too. I see a pink shirt int he background.

This is the money shot. Michelle stealing a lick of his sucker while Jack's trying to keep it in his mouth. :)

How my mind works

So this is a little how my mind works thru pictures.

"Hmmm...this snow looks nice and wet. Perfect for snowballs, snowmen and snowball fights.

Ah, an unsuspecting victim. Dad. He isn't even paying attention. He's more interested in that John Deere lawnmower. He looks like he could use a snowball right in the kisser and I can for sure get him because that mower doesn't move that fast.

Okay, this looks like a nice big pile of wet-packing snow. Perfect for a snowball.

Okay, here's a good chunk. I'll grab it and start packing.

this chunk isn't big enough. I'll add a little more. Now it's looking good.

Okay, just about got it done now. Gotta pack it nice and tight so it doesn't fall apart mid-flight.

Hey Mitchelley, Check this sh*t out. I'm gonna get Dad. hee hee

Okay, time to get going and go get Dad. I must be sneaky so he doesn't know it's coming. Then when the snowball hits him it'll be like getting a pitcher of cold water hitting him. He'll be shocked. hee hee Should be pretty f'in funny. :)

So here's Dad, still an unsuspecting, helpless, well I won't go that far, maybe unsuspecting schmuck. hee hee This will be so easy, like shooting fish in a barrell.

Here I come and he still doesn't notice. What a schmuck. LOL

The wind-up. He's noticing now. Not sure why I decided to throw with my left hand. Maybe I took pitty on Dad and didn't want to hurt him. He is getting older.

Here goes, apparently I'm not a threat.

Take that you criminal. He tried to block but he missed. Ha ha LOL LOL LOL LOL. I got him a couple other times too. He tried to stop the mower so I'd miss but I was on to him and that thing doesn't go fast anyway so I'd still hit him. LOL

Pinochle night and some extra stuff

So here are a couple pictures from today and a dialogue.

Sunrise.

Late Afternoon/Early Evening

Okay so now to pinochle night.

We chose partners the diplomatic way, by taking two red cards and two black cards and flipping them over, messing them around and then each person choosing one. Kim and I were partners and Jamie and Thomas.

So it started off with me and Kimmie getting the most rotten hands ever and Jamie and Thomas could do no wrong. Kim then set us and then I got stuck with a crappy hand so I set us too. So thought we were done for but then we had a come back and Jamie set herself big-time. So we got within 600 which was pretty good considering we were down about 5,000. Yeah, crappy I know.

So we battle our way back and then Thomas, the biggest poopstain on the planet gets 600 queens in his hand. I SAID IN HIS HAND! What the f*ck! So that pretty much cemented our losing for the evening. Kimmie was so ticked off. Here's what happened.

Kim: "This is such bullsh*t! You guys have all this crap in your hands. You melt 500 every time and we can't get anything. You're killing our a$$es!"

"This is ridiculous!"

"This is such bullsh*t!"

"I'm going to drown myself in the toilet!"

laughter breaks out. Jamie and I are laughing so hard that we can't control ourselves. My eyes are watering. I'm laughing so hard that my stomach and head hurts. No actual sound comes out of my mouth because it's intense. I think Thomas was laughing hard too. :)

Jamie and Jen: "Just one more flush and that'll do it!" "Damn it! Thanks a lot Dad for that damn energy saving toilet now I can't drown myself in the toilet!"

more laughter breaks out! ha ha he he snort snort silence LOL LOL LOL

Jamie: "I'm going to piss myself."

Jen: "I think I already did."

Kim: "That's it Thomas (who's still laughing at her), you're sleeping on the couch."

thomas laughs

Kim: "No, I mean it! I can't stand it! This is such bullsh*t!"

That's about all I can remember. Of course some of that is paraphrased too.

Some other common phrases heard tonight.

Jen: "What a hog!" "Who dealt this crap!" "You started off so good!" "Pay Attention Kimmie!" "Thomas I'm serious, I'm taking back your wedding present." "Jamie, you're not getting a birthday present." "Kimmie, I think they are cheating." "Smurf kick!" "Jamie, you're gonna have gut rot tomorrow."

Kimmie: "Why am I always getting picked on?" "What's trump?" "Thomas, you always have an ace when I lay a ten, every damn time." "I bent the cards again." "Thomas, you're sleeping on the couch."

Thomas: laughter "Nobody's going to get double queens." "Here's a jack for you."

Jamie: "Who dealt this crap!" "Can we have 10's?" "Let's flip up the middle?" "These chips and dip are really good."

Here's a picture of one of my hands. Once you see it and if you know how to play pinochle you'll know why we lost.

Yeah, okay. First can I mention that I can hold 19 cards without bending them like some people. Okay, that comment was to tease Kimmie because she is forever bending the cards. So this hand is garbage. No consistencies. No full suit, so 100 aces although there are seven of them which would benefit my partners hand. 2 rounders (piddly) and no pinochle. Lousy friggin' hand. I can't even bid on it. Depending on what trump is called I only have 40 points. Ugh!

Here's a picture of Kimmie during her tyrade!

Bowling with the Fam.

I went bowling with most of the fam. on Saturday (me, Kimmie {Gwinnie crapped out}, Chris and Ashley, and Kelly.

So...Kelly almost beat Chris, the blow-hole big mouthed bowling freak.

Notice that up until frame 4 Kelly is beating Chris.

This is Chris's 2nd highest score ever. He wanted me to take a picture of the score so there was proof. Nerd.

Here's where I beat the blowhole (that's Chris). Nick beat me though. Poop.

Chris in all his bowling glory. Okay, blow-hole, you can sit down and be quiet now. :) LOL I like this picture though and I think he might have picked up this spare. Did I mention I picked up a spare and won $0.50.

Kelly bowling. I think she picked up a strike here too.

Chris getting frisky with Ashley wearing my mittens. Punk.

Slightly inebriated Kim and Ashley. Oh, speaking of that. Nick went with us too and he was talking to some guys he knew. Kim walked over to him and something like this happened.

K: Nick, don't you want to hang out with your family?

N: They are right over there. (points left)

K: But you're not talking to us?

N: So.

K: You should come over and hang out with us.

N: Kirby, (a friend) stop staring at my sister's boobs. (they were hanging out as usual and it basically means that then he took a peek.)

laughter, Kim leaves after hiking her shirt up. That was funny.

So then Nick tells me later, "Jen, Kim walks right over and plops her boobs right on the table. Of course they are going to look."

K: But Bailey's were hanging out worse than mine (we play ball with her).

J: Yeah, I know, but that's what yours usually look like.

K: No they don't. Hers looked like they almost fell out.

J: Yeah, I know. They looked like was practicing breastfeeding or something. Quick access for a quick baby meal.

LOL

Can I just say that my family has the weirdest and naughtiest conversations. Are we the only ones? A family of perverts and pranksters. Dad will be so proud.

P.s. Mom says that's all from Dad.

World's Toughest Rodeo - Part I

Here are some pictures from the World's Toughest Rodeo that I went to on Friday at the Excel Center in St. Paul, MN. I am not posting all of them just a few. I'll post more later.

Kimmie, Auntie Sheila, Traci, Tina Louise and Little Lyndsay

I know this is blurry but my camera isn't that good but you get the general idea. I love that horse tail flying in the air.

\

Blurry, but I love the look on this guys face. That says it all. Oh and the light spot at the bottom there is the old bat's white-blonde ratted-out mop who sat in front of me and got her head in every shot no matter how hard I tried. Why am I always cursed?

This one is cool. legs extended, tail flying and everything. Pretty sweet.

I like this one too. Too bad the old bat got in the way again. I repeat, why am I cursed?

This one is cool. He's mid-falling off the horse. Awesome! Isn't that why people go to the rodeo? To see people fall off and be trampled? :)

Here's the money shot. This one is my favorite because it's in focus and the horse is extended and I love the expression on his face. Awesome!